Vulcans Don't Fart
by spockett
Summary: Spock and Jim are stuck in a malfunctioning turbo lift with embarrassing consequences. Can Jim survive the repercussions? Only Spock knows.
1. Chapter 1

**Vulcans don't Fart**

**Spock and Jim are stuck in a malfunctioning turbo lift with embarrassing consequences**

**Please be kind as this is my first story that I have ever wrote for public viewing. I needed a good laugh and my typing fingers just took on a life of their own. I really could use a good Beta for my stories because my punctuation, etc. really sucks. I accept all construction criticism.**

**Don't own em. Just play with them.**

Kirk was never so glad when the festivities on the planet Evo ended. They were celebrating their admission into the Federation after 2 long years of negotiations.

Spock and himself were the only one's who had attended the dinner and he was already feeling the effects of the very spicy cuisine and strong alcohol. He wondered how they even had stomachs with food like that.

As soon as he got on board he made a beeline for his quarters without so much as a word to Spock.

When he entered his cabin he headed straight for the head groaning. He knew he was going to regret the spicy food he consumed by the way his stomach was protesting.

Half an hour later he emerged while fanning the air. Man, I must get an air freshener in there.

He decided that he was going to make a quick visit to the bridge to make sure everything was running smoothly before he went to bed.

He reminded himself that Scotty was going to be making some repairs on some of the turbo lifts and they would be out of service for awhile.

As he was walking toward the lift on his deck he saw Spock coming from his quarters and it looked like he was heading to the bridge lift also.

Ah, Mister Spock, looks like your going my way. Care to share a lift

Since we are the only ones standing here, the likely hood of us sharing the same lift is 100%.

Yea, unless I make you take the next one, Kirk joked.

That would be unwise.

Captain, may I inquire as to why you are going to the bridge at this late hour? You have had a long day with the negotiations and you should take this time to rest. I am sure that the bridge is running quite efficiently or we would have been notified of any irregularities.

Jim looked at his First Officer with a fond smile.

Jim. Spock you can call me Jim when we are not on duty.

Anyway you know me, I just don't feel right until I have checked on the kiddies and make sure they have been playing nice and put all their toys away.

Capti……Jim, I do not believe any of the bridge crew will be playing with children's toys! It is forbidden for anyone to bring anything on the bridge that would cause any kind of disrupt……….

I know, I know, just humor me.

At that moment Jim's stomach started making growling sounds and squishy noises, like water gurgling.

Spock looked over at Kirk and then down at his stomach.

Jim, are you feeling well?

Jim grimaced and rubbed his stomach. I guess my stomach is getting back at me for all that spicy food I ate on Ero's.

Spock just looked at Kirk and his stomach again wondering what other kind of strange noises it would make next.

I wonder what is taking this turbo lift so long, Jim wined, still rubbing his stomach and wondering if he should instead go back to his quarters.

Mr. Scott's report did not specify he would be working on this lift Spock said, still fascinated by the additional little gurgles coming from Kirks stomach.

Well, then what's wrong with it.

Did you press the little button Jim, Spock asked with a faint smile on his lips.

(Smirk) No Spock I was hoping you would use your telepathy and ask the computer to indulge us.

Spock blinked twice at Kirk. Ah.. levity…a joke, very amusing.

Just before Kirk could get in another good comeback, the turbo lift doors opened.

Well, it's about time Jim complained. It would only be a few seconds now and he could go to the Bridge head.

They both stepped in and Kirk hit the button for the bridge, none too gently.

The lift shuddered a bit and began to move. Spock noticed that it was slower then what it should be. After about 10 seconds it stopped with a jolt. The lights began to flicker on and off.

Jim hit the intercom button to the bridge. Kirk to the bridge.

Uhura answered the hail. Yes Captain, how can I help you.

Wellll…. for starters Spock and I are stuck in the turbo lift to the bridge. Where is Mr. Scott?

He's …..kind of busy ……..sir. She looked over at Scotty sitting on the floor with a bunch of wires hanging out of the control panel next to the turbo lift.

With a bit of aggravation in his voice Kirk said. Tell him his _**Boss**_ would like to speak to him if he would be so kind…………… and still wants to keep his job.

Kirk could hear Uhura saying something to Scotty.

There was some shuffling noise and then Scotty was on the com.

Sir?

Hello Mr. Scott, how are you today?

Well…Ah fine sir, and You?

??

Scotty my man, Kirk said gritting his teeth as a sharp cramp ran through his intestines. Would you be so kind as to tell me why you have imprisoned Mr. Spock and your _**Captain**_ in the bridge turbo lift, he said sweetly?

Mutuny issssss a court martial offence I'm sure you are aware of, and I heard that _**keel hauling**_ is the new punishment now.

Sorry Captain, but we had a major electric failure in the in the main turbo junction and it's kind of a mess right now.

How long do you think it will take to repair it?

I have all my men working on it sir.

How Long?

Ah…Soon.

**Scotty**?

It should nay take but 2 or 3 hours sir.

Kirk banged his forehead on the wall a few times. His stomach started rumbling again and he could feel the pressure building up as a sheen of sweat broke out on his forehead. There was no way he was going to make it that long in here without his intestines exploding.

Ok…Don't panic, Don't panic, he keep telling himself as he looked over at Spock who was calmly waiting in his oh so patient and calm way.

Mr. Scott, is there _**anyway**_you could possibly make it any sooner then that, Kirk almost begged.

Spock glanced over to Kirk wondering why he seemed so nervous and tense. He knew it could not be claustrophobia as Jim would never have passed the Academy training unless he somehow got around that that also.

Captain, Scotty replied, I am doing the best I can and as soon as we find the problem, I will let you know. Scott out. He quickly cut the connection.

Kirk glared at the intercom like he wanted to rip it off the wall.

Jim, came the soft voice next to him. If I may ask a personal inquiry?

If you're going to ask me to kiss you, forget it. I only do that after the second date.

Spock was speechless for a few seconds, but was able to compose himself and explained to Kirk that it would not be professional for the Captain and First Officer to engage in that type of activity. I believe that Star Fleet would frown on that kind of behavior between officers.

Kirk leaned back against the opposite wall and pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache.

Spock……I was….only….kidding, Kirk said slowly. Then he began to snicker and slide down the wall to sit.

Have a seat Spock he sighed, we are going to be roomies for awhile.

After about 45 minutes Spock slowly sat down on the other side of the lift facing Kirk. He still kept looking at Kirks stomach as though some alien was going to erupt from it, with all the noises it was still making.

Kirk closed his eyes and prayed to all the Gods that he could hang on for just a bit longer as he tried to squirm without Spock noticing.

Jim?

_WHAT_? ……… Sorry Spock, I didn't mean to snap at you.

It was getting harder and harder for him to concentrate.

Spock paused for a few seconds and continued. You seem to be distressed? May I ask what is causing you to be this way?

Kirk looked down at his hands in his lap, smiled and thought, if he only knew, his poor, poor Vulcan friend.

Are you claustrophobic Spock asked?

No.

There is nothing to be ashamed of if you are Jim, I just want to hel……………

I'm not, Kirk snapped, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to get through the next cramp without looking like anything was wrong.

Spock looked thoughtful as he eyed his Captain. Then I fail to see what has made you seem so uneasy and distressed.

Yeah, well right now I wish I was just claustrophobic because what I am going to do next Mr. Spock is going to make me feel really, really bad….for you.

Spocks eyebrows went up. Why would you feel…..bad for me?

Jim could not help it but he started to snicker and put his hands over his face.

Spock, _please_ forgive me for what I am about to do, but I just can't hold it any longer. He grunted and the next thing he heard was the sound. OMG. It seemed to reverberate off the walls and echo all around him. It went on forever and ever.

Jim was not sure how much time had passed but was afraid to put his hands down and look at Spock. He knew his face was so red and his checks were burning along with the ones he was sitting on.

He didn't hear a sound.

His first thought was that Spock found a way to get out of the lift and had left Kirk there.

Ever so slowly he opened his hands up to peek.

What he first saw was the look on Spocks face. It was the look of fear. His eyes were wide open, both eyebrows lost in his hair somewhere. He was crouched in a defensive poise at the furthest part of the lift.

Jim did not think he had ever seen Spock look so funny.

He was trying so very hard not to break out laughing hysterically.

His face was getting ever redder and redder until he completely lost it. He was laughing so hard, he could hardly catch his breath.

Spock still had not moved at all. His expression seemed to be frozen on his face, which made Kirk start laughing all over again. When he was finally down to just snickering he looked back up at Spock.

Well…. _**THAT**_ was embarrassing, don't you think? (snicker, snicker)

Spock still did not move except for a slight twitch of his nose.

The smell was really, really bad as Jim thought of how sensitive Vulcan noses were.

He put his own hand over his nose and mouth and looked over at Spock.

Well, he muffled between his fingers, should dissipate soon. The ship has good ventilation.

Still no movement from Spock.

Kirk was starting to get a bit worried.

Hey Spock……are you…… OK?

Didn't damage your hearing or anything he said a bit loud. Did it?

Still Nothing.

Maybe he scared him so bad he was in shock. Jim tried waving his hand in the air.

Enterprise to Spock, are you in there?

Jim slowly started crawling across the deck towards Spock when he heard this low growl. It sounded like a cat growling.

Jim stopped and stared at Spock a moment and asked, did…….did you just……. growl at me?

The growling sound grew even louder.

OOOOKay…….. I will just go back over here. He slowly crawled back to his side of the lift.

He could still hear a very faint growling.

After a few uncomfortable minutes Jim saw movement as Spocks eyes blinked a few times and he seemed to be coming out of his coma.

Spock, I am so sorry, but sometimes a guy just can't help it. Haven't you blown one before in the presence of someone……….. accidentally, huh?

How it just sneaks out when you least expect it…….No?.

Boy I thought my intestine's was going to explode he chuckled. You should be happy _**THAT**_ didn't happen.

Silence

Come on, wake up Spock……… Pleeeese.

I really don't want to have to tell Star Fleet that I killed my First Officer with my fart. Now _**that**_ would be really embarrassing and… "funny". Don't you think??

Plus it wouldn't' look to good on my record ya know. Id never be able to keep a crew (snicker).

Spock was finally able to gain control over his eyebrows and let them slide down his forehead slowly. His dark black eyes were shooting holes in Kirk's face like laser beams.

Never taking his eyes off of Kirk, he started to relax his body and slow his heart rate back down, while unclenching his fists.

That's it, take it nice and slow now, Kirk urged. I know it must have been a shock to your system and all, but you're doing fine. I tried to warn ya bud, but (snicker)……Uh..we _are_ still bud's ….right?

Suddenly the lift jerked and started to move.

Wow, just in time Jim mumbled as he stood up and glanced over his shoulder as Spock was fixing his uniform and trying to look nonchalant.

Kirk leaned toward Spock as he was standing up and whispered, Look, next time were stuck in the Turbo Lift you can just let one rip. Really. I won't even say anything or act like anything happened. Ok?

There was a low murmur from Spock, but Kirk couldn't quite hear him.

Sorry Spock but I didn't catch that?

Just as the doors opened up, Spock briskly walked around him and stopped while blocking the door.

He slowly turned around and faced Jim leaning forward where he was only inches from Kirk face. His eyes were nearly glowing. He took a deep breath and with clenched teeth he quietly said, _**Vulcan's don't fart, **_ and he turned and walked over to his station.

Kirk feeling a little put out that Spock didn't forgive him, walked over to his chair sat down tapping his fingers on the arm rest, smiled and announced, "Hey you guys, you should have heard the fart that Spock just ripped in the Turbo Lift." It was totally _**Awesome**_.

Laughter ensued all around the bridge except for Spock, who's eyebrows had disappeared again and his face and ears were turning a rather good shade of green, all the while trying to decide what body parts that Kirk could do without, and still be able to captain the ship.

After a moment, still snickering, Jim looked over at Spock smiling and found Spock looking back at him with a real scary smirk on his face, hinting of payback.

Jim's smile faded and he shivered.

Turning back to the forward screen he said to Sulu. Mr. Sulu, Break Wind,……. I mean orbit.

The End

**Not sure if I am going to take it any further. Depends on the reviews I get. Spock's payback could be very entertaining. Maybe touch on why Vulcans don't Fart. Or is Spock just fibbing. Will See. Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Spocks Revenge.**

**Authors Note: This takes place one month after, Vulcan's Don't Fart. I hope you all like it. Please Please review.**

**I'm still just playing with them.**

Another successful mission Jim thought as he mentally patted himself on the back.

The Molens were a rather strange race that loved just about everyone. Even though they were a part of the Federation, they allowed any and all beings to visit their planet. Including, Romulans, and Klingons. They had a very healthy trade agreement with them and many other worlds and the Federation could not tell them who they were allowed and not allowed to create commerce with. As long as it was not illegal, no conflicts of interest, and the Molens did their part in fulfilling their obligations with the Federation.

A few days ago the Enterprise was diverted to Molen 3 because of a minor incident and Star Fleet wanted to make sure it was not something that was going to turn into a full blown intergalactic war.

After things checked out ok, the Enterprise left orbit.

Jim was getting hungry and decided to head to the mess hall and get something to eat. Alpha shift was over and he could now relax.

He walked into the mess hall and went over to the food replicators to see what looked good or.. not.

"Oh, look," he said to no one in particular. "Leftovers from….. what?.… last week?"

"This looks yummy" he said, as he grabbed the selection he made. "There's only a little green fuzz then last time."

"McCoy will be real proud of me taking my penicillin. "

Actually they had been having some malfunctions in the food replicators as of late and had to wait till they got to the next nearest Star Base to have them repaired. Scotty could only do so much.

As he was getting his food, he looked around to see who was in the mess hall.

Most of the Senior Bridge officers from Alpha shift were off duty and milling about, either getting food or just conversing with others.

He spotted McCoy and Spock sitting at a far table in the corner talking.

He smiled as he saw them hunched over together apparently discussing something on a pad that Spock had in his hand. Their personalities were like night and day, and always seemed to clash.

He wondered what was so interesting that could bring these two together talking, much less sitting next to each other.

His curiosity was getting the better of him as he walked over and took a seat opposite them.

Bones was the first to notice him.

Hi Jim. Glad to see you finally decided to get something to eat.

"Yep, no one can say that the flag ship of Star Fleet doesn't have the best food in the Universe.

McCoy looked at Jim's plate and frowned.

"Well at least yours looks like food. Mine looked like something the cat drug in."

"No offense Spock."

"None taken Doctor." He had also had some unpleasant food surprises.

Spock looked up and acknowledged Jim with a nod.

Jim pointed to the Pad. "What's that?"

"I am reviewing some reports that a Superior Officer has not completed per the required time frame, which in turn is causing a back log, _and_ holding up department's requisitions. This will also cause crew efficiency to go down since they can not do their jobs properly."

Jim nodded his head in reply. "Well, looks like we better put a fire under their butt to get these reports done!"

"Spock, you take care it. There is no excuse for anyone not doing their job."

"By the way, who is it?"

Spock looked up and glanced at McCoy.

McCoy sighed. "Well, Jim my boy, _**you**_ are said officer who is seriously lacking in your duties."

"What!…..Me?"

Jim stared at both of them.

"No way."

"Yes way", said McCoy, leaning across the table. "I have been waiting for you to sign off on a requisition that I sent to you 10 days ago for some much needed supplies in sick bay. You can't just keep avoiding these. Believe it or not but it is part of a Captain's responsibilities. "

Spock looked at Jim. "Captain, you are approximately 3 weeks behind in reviewing these reports."

Jim really hated doing any kind of paper work. He felt that a Captains job should be on the bridge and not pushing paper.

"Ok, Ok, I will look at them when I have finished my dinner. It _can_ wait until then, can't it?"

"I don't think another 20 minutes or so is going to make that much of a difference now," Spock replied.

"If you would like Captain, I can come to your quarters and help you. I am aware of many of these requests."

"Well Spock, since you are aware of most of these requests, how about… _you_… take care of them for me," Jim said sweetly.

"No," came the curt reply.

"Why not?"

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Jim, _**you**_ still have to sign off on all of them. Spock can only let you know if the requests are valid and needed."

"Ok, Ok."

Spock gathered up the pads from the table.

"I shall meet you in your quarters in approximately 30 minutes Captain", and he walked out of the mess hall not giving him a chance to reply.

"Don't let the door hit your tight ass on your way out," Kirk quietly snickered.

"Jim, you really have to stop doing this."

"What?" was Jim's innocent reply.

Trying to get him to do your work, embarrassing and making fun of him, just to name a few. He has his own duties to perform instead of babysitting you to get yours done."

"Ah Bones, it's just in fun, Jim smiled, that's what friends are for." "In fact last month, Spock and I bonded," Jim said chuckling.

"Yea, I heard about your little bonding adventure. Why do you continually do these things to embarrass him?"

"What happened in the turbo lift was not on purpose," Jim replied.

"No, but telling the whole bridge crew that Spock farted in the turbo lift was," McCoy said a bit frustrated.

"Look, he's my friend and my bud," Jim said. "Plus, I apologized to him in front of the Bridge crew and told them the truth."

"He forgives me."

"Really," McCoy smirked. Are you so sure about that?"

"Sure," Jim replied, while picking at the remainder of his food.

"You don't sound so sure of yourself. I just know that one of these days you are just going to go too far with him. I don't want to be around to pick up all the pieces when he goes off on you……_again_."

Jim just looked at McCoy and smiled.

"Well, I have to go now Bones, as I have the grim reaper visiting me in 30 minutes."

He went back to his quarters to take a quick shower and change his clothes. He figured it was going to be a long night, especially with Spock dragging it out by analyzing everything down to an atom.

He was getting dressed in his bedroom when he heard his door signal. He knew it must be Spock as he is always punctual, almost down to the second.

"Come in Spock, I will be out in a minute."

When he finished dressing, he walked out into the common area where his desk was.

Spock had already taken the seat opposite his desk and was looking over one of the pads.

Jim walked over and sat down. "I thought you already memorized all that Spock? Not having a brain fart are ya?" (snicker)

Raised eyebrow but no answer.

"Okey, Dokey, where do we begin?"

Without looking up Spock handed him one of the pads.

"Ok… I guess I will start with this one," he said, as he took the pad from Spock.

After about an hour, Jim was starting to get a headache staring at the reports.

He thought he would get up and stretch his muscles a bit.

As he stood up, he sniffed the air, wrinkling his nose.

"Spock? Do you smell that."

"No," Spock said without looking up.

"Are you sure, because it is …(gag) really…..nasty smelling."

"I can assure you Jim that I do not smell anything."

Jim started walking around his room sniffing.

A wave of nausea came over him.

"Wow," he breathed, "that smell is really making me sick to my stomach. I wonder what the hell it is."

"Spock, I can't understand how you can not smell it." (Jim gagged again).

The next second, Jim was rushing for the head, retching up his dinner.

After a few minutes he took some water and splashed it on his face, but it still did not alleviate the nausea.

He breathed deeply, then looked out at Spock who was still deeply engrossed in the report he was working on.

"Ah..Spock?"

"Yes Jim?"

"Do you notice something strange about me?"

Still writing on his pad he answered, "You mean more so then your usual strange behavior?"

"Yes… No… I mean Yes."

"No, I do not," replied Spock

"Did you say.. NO?"

"Yes, I believe I did."

Jim walked out of the head with a wash cloth over his nose and mouth.

The smell was so strong now that the wet cloth was not even helping.

His stomach rolled and his eyes were starting to burn.

"Spock I need some fresh air. I will be back, but I need to find out where this smell is coming from."

As he walked towards the door, he suddenly begins to feel weak and dizzy.

He stumbled over to his door, shooting a glance at Spock, thinking, "I can't believe he can not smell this odor."

The smell was becoming even more intense and rancid.

He turned back to the door and crashed right into it, falling to the floor. The door had not opened.

A bit dazed, he looked at the door and then over at Spock who was still working and acting like nothing unusual was happening

"Spock, why is my door locked." (cough, gag)

No answer.

He got up and started punching in his command codes. Nothing happened. He also tried the intercom but it was not working either.

"Spock?"

"Yes Jim."

"Did you lock ..(gag, gag) my door and turn off my intercom?"

"That would be an affirmative."

"Why?" Jim croaked gagging, trying to breathe through his mouth and not his nose.

No answer.

"Spock! Open it now!"

"That, would be a negative Jim," Spock replied.

"Wha……..What do you mean no?" (cough, gag)

Spock finally looked up from the pad and stared Jim straight in the face with a slight upturn of the corners of his lips.

"I believe that I had to endure 20 minutes. It has only been 10 for you."

Jim just stared at Spock for a moment, trying to think clearly. Trying to make some sense out of what Spock was saying.

"Spock?" (gag)

"Yes Jim."

"_**What the hell are you talking about**_." (gag, cough)

"I would have thought you would have guessed by now," Spock said, as his lips turned into a smirk.

??.... then Jim recalled that look from the bridge 3 months ago.

Suddenly Jim's mouth opened and shut a few times before he could speak between gagging again.

"No……..No freaking way. You would not do something like that to me"……..(gag)

"What do mean Jim?" Spock asked innocently.

"I apologized to you for that!"

"Yes, you did Jim, however, you enjoyed the moment way too much, and you did say that I could…. what were the words… Ah yes. Rip one off."

"Spock, I'm feeling dizzy"……(gag)

"Then I suggest you lay down on the floor for a few moments. You still have 8 minutes to go."

"What?" Jim said, as he laid down on the floor, before he fell down. He was breathing heavily and moaning.

"Spock," I …think…. I need a doctor. "I'm dying". (gag)

Spock looked down at Jim with an expression on his face that Jim could not identify.

"Very well," he said, as he walked over to the intercom and hailed sick bay.

"McCoy here."

"Doctor, the Captain is not feeling well and wishes for you to come to his quarters."

"Well, what's wrong with him?"

Spock looked over at Jim. He had his eyes closed with his arm draped over his face breathing heavily.

"I am… not sure Doctor."

"Is he in any danger?"

"No"

"How do you know?"

"Trust me Doctor."

"Well, is he conscious?"

Spock glanced over at Jim again.

"Barely"

"All right, I'm on my way, " McCoy mumbled. "I wonder what the hell he's done now."

Spock clicked off the intercom, unlocked the door and turned on the ventilation system that he had shut down when he entered Jim's quarters as Jim was getting dressed in his bedroom.

He walked over and knelt down beside Jim.

He patted Jim's check a few times saying, "Jim are you in there."

A most illogical feeling (a giggle he thought) was trying to bubble up inside of him, but he squished it down.

Jim opened his eye's a bit and took a deep breath. (cough, cough)

His voice was hoarse but he finally was able to speak.

In a very low voice he said, "Spock, you said..(cough) Vulcan's Don't Fart!"

"We don't Jim."

"But this is your,…..your fart smell. Right?"

"Yes."

"Then you lied."

"No,….. Vulcan's don't fart,…… however we do……..expel gas." When needed, quietly."

"What's the difference," Jim wined as another wavy of nausea swept over him

"Vulcan's have the ability to control our….bodily functions at will."

"The chemical reaction in our……intestines can be very unpleasant and as you can tell, and quite overwhelming to humans. So we normally would not expel it while we are around them.

"So…(cough)…let me get this straight."

"Your telling me that Vulcan's (gag) expel gas silently and in a controlled manner. Not like farting which is usually loud and uncontrolled?

Spock thought for a moment and said, "That would be correct."

Kirk moaned and closed his eyes. "I can't freaking believe I'm having this conversations with you about Farts." "I hate you," Jim moaned.

At that moment the door opened and McCoy started to walk into Jims quarters.

Suddenly he back peddled a few steps and put his hands over his nose.

"My God!" "What is that smell." "It smells like a rotting corpse."

"It's me Bones, I'm dying and rotting from Spocks fart." "He's trying to kill me for revenge."

McCoy glanced over at Spock.

Spock just shrugged as if to say he had no idea what Jim was talking about.

"It could be that Jims food processor has malfunctioned," Spock replied. "I will have Scotty take a look at it."

Kirk groaned. "It's……. Spock."

"Uh huh," McCoy sighed, as he ran his Tricorder over him.

"No….no, its true. He poisoned me," Jim said as another wave of gagging took over.

"Jim, there are no poisons in your system."

"And your sure he didn't hit his head on anything, Spock?" McCoy asked.

"I am quite sure doctor."

"It was Spock," Jim coughed, "he…..farted." "Oh my God I can't breath."

McCoy was speechless.

"Jim, are out of your mind?

"Has he been drinking Spock?"

"No," Spock replied.

"Then what the Hell is he talking about?"

Spock just looked at McCoy and said. "I do not know."

He then walked over to Jim's desk and retrieved the Pads they were working on.

"I will leave you in the good hands of the doctor now Jim."

"I will work on the rest of these reports in my quarters," he said as he was walking toward the door.

He stopped as the door opened and turned around.

"Jim?"

(Heavy breathing) "What?"

Spock hesitated a moment then said, "We are still Buds…. Right?"

Without waiting for an answer he walked out the door heading for his quarters.

"He tried to kill me," Jim yelled.

"I'm surprised he has not done so already," McCoy mumbled. "Jim, I'm taking you down to sick bay to find out what the hell kind of drugs you are taking."

As Spock was walking down the hall to his quarters, he could just make out Jims muffled words from inside his quarters.

**Stinky**, **Toxic** **Bastard**

Spock entered his quarters and placed the Pads on his desk as he sat down in his chair. Leaning back and closing his eyes, a small smile grew across his face, then the smile grew into a chuckle, and the chuckle grew into a full blown belly laugh as he said to himself,

"Gotcha Jim."

The End.

**Please, please review. If you liked it, tell your friends to read and review also.**


End file.
